Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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