Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
