Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize