Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
