i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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