1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
