you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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