let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
