Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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