Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
