I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
