I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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