Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
