i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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