I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
