Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
