I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
