oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
