were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
