i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
