i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
