Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize