apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
