I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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