they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
