Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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