I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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