I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
lol hangovers are for mortals.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
