The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize