The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
