You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
