summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
