Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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