I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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