it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
try to milk me bitch
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