I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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