I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
