Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I believe in your delicious
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
