he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
do herpes really smell.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
there is glitter all over my balls
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