Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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