Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
