Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
