"it" just moved
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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