Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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