Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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