omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
