okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
