I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
