You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
