I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
