i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just cut my nipple shaving
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the liver wants what the liver wants
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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