You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
