He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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