dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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