I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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