I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
