I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize