somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
