just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize