EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think i have herpe
just one?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We had to coat check the pizza.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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