what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
