well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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