i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize