Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
