He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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