Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
