Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
as a side note pls kill me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
