she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She's like a pop up book from hell.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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