I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
